He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
