if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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