I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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