i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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