I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize