whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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