in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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