and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
