I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
