Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
