nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
