My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize