i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
