Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
