Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
