Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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