i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
