I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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