Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
