# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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