haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
