other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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