i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
