So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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