also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
