just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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