i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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