I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize