Kiss
Puke
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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