well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
