Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
