I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
