lets start a swedish sibling band together
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
