When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
