i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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