I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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