nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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