I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
