Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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