Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
