What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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