Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
