carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
