I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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