Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
