her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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