He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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