Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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