I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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