If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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