DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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