I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
