Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
