Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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