i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
