Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
where are you?
Hypothermia
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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