no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize