i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
