3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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