you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
