Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm passing your future prison.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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