He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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