google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize