nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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