I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
