The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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